A Shitty Retrospect



Yet another morning came and Gerald woke up in a mesmerized panic with another young girl next to him, breathing low, as if sleeping on a raft, softly floating underneath a placid sun. He was her entire cosmos last night, and he was well aware that he fucked her better than anyone else had ever had, ever will—that is, unless he chose to keep this one close to him for all time; alright, for just a little while.
He’d better get dress and ready for work at I.V. Lumber, where he hated to work, but always imagined himself becoming manager there and somehow sleeping in a pile of his own shit in the office. Fuck the women; feces was his cock’s destination, but of course he couldn’t tell, who was this one, um…Lilly? Lisa? He couldn’t tell her this, she would think that he’s a freak. Well, maybe she already did, he had asked to suck on her asshole, and she happily returned a smile, turning around from the doggy position and said, “Yeah, baby, I want you to taste my shit. Suck it good.” He thought for a minute as he put his pants on, that this must have been a dream, but no, there was a little glob of fresh shit between her exposed little tits. Wow, he thought, maybe this is the one.
“I think I have found the girl that would do as Suzie used to do, and suck the shit out of my asshole.” He said to the room, smiling at his Dali poster. Them melting clocks never experienced the taste of dung, I bet, he thought in clever silence.
“What was that?” she said, her head rising first, her naked torso second. “You sound like you are going crazy. And why am I naked. You put something in my drink last night, huh? You freak. And what is this, shit? Oh, my God! Get me out of here!”
“Relax, it was just a little bit of GHB, baby.”
“GHB, Christ that shit fucks you up; you don’t remember anything. In fact, I bet you don’t even remember my name, huh? I bet you don’t even remember how old I am. I’m Lindy, and I’m only 18. My parents are probably having a fit right now. Get me out of here. Where am I anyway?”
“Eighteen, huh?” Gerald said, “Not bad, not bad at all, Gerry.”
“You are a self-centered prick, you know that? A fucking bastard. And I want to know how I can get back home,” she pleaded.
Gerald shook his head, and put on his I.V. lumber shirt, remarking silently on his nicely formed pecks and nice abdominal muscles. “Bitch, I met you down at the party in Fairbanks, brought you back here because you said that you wanted to, and even asked to be given something to….relax you a bit. That’s all.”
“Ok,” she said, “Just take me home. I live in Cederspoint. But first, I got to wash off this…..oh my God…shit off of my chest.”
“Hey, at least it is your own shit, ya know?”
“Fuck you,” she said as she walked over to the sink and washed off the dab of crap from between her perky tits. Her nipples were hard, and Gerald wanted to suck on them, even getting to taste some more of her shit. Then he wanted to ask her to suck the shit out of his ass. There was still time, and he had more of that nice drug in his dresser. Hmm…give her some orange juice?
“Sorry, let’s go, here’s your bra.”
So she got her shit together, and they left his apartment. “You know, you really weren’t that bad.” She said.
“I thought you couldn’t remember anything.”
“Well, I could a little. Not the shit part, but the rest of it. You’ve got a big cock, that’s for sure. It still hurts a little, but not that much since I was so relaxed. You know.”
“Thanks, now get in the fucking car.”
“Fine then, don’t take a compliment. I bet you don’t even remember when you met me.”
“No, not exactly. I remember you standing there with a beer in your hand and whispering to your friends about me and giggling—you know that typical young girl shit. Then you walked over to me, yes you walked over to me and asked me to take you somewhere, that is after we talked a bit about rabbits or something. I don’t know, I was stoned.”
“Damn right you were, Gerald, you were, and the scenario went something like this:…………..” she began as he started the car and pulled out of his parking spot, took a left on the Albert street and headed down that agonizing four mile stretch of road, with more stoplights than he could count.
“Well,” she continued, “first of all, you were smoking joint, so I knew that you were all fucked up, and you were holding a beer in your left hand. Standing around with a few friends, and you were talking about us. I could hear you laughing at us saying how “trapped in youthful naiveté” we were. Then you slapped your pal’s hand and whispered something in his ear. He gave you the thumbs up, and you headed over to me, that is, after you smoked some more of that pot or whatever it was you were smoking. I don’t like that stuff never had, it makes me sick and shit. Anyway, you came over to us, and we were just standing there all innocent and shit, just talking about the boys on the hockey team and how hot they were, and you came over to me and handed me a note. I opened it and read it and it said something about you should consider coming a back to my place tonight because I’ve got better beer and a whole lot of cool music and shit like that. It went on and on. Strange thing was it seemed like it was photo copied, yeah like there were multiple copies of the shit being passed around. Then you pulled out of a wad of cash. That made my mouth water, of course. Then you grabbed my ass. I liked and how you stuck your finger up my ass crack. It felt strange, but good. I asked my friends if they would mind going up. And then you said that it was only a one person invitation. I asked why’s that, you said because you only had a few spaces in your car, and one of your buddies wanted to come back to the place so it was “safe” and all. Whatever that meant, because it wasn’t, not at all. The shit that you did to me. Then you gave me that drink after kissing me for an hour. Well a few minutes because you had my shirt off in a few seconds. You are good. I’ll give you that. Then you smiled walked into the bedroom and got something, put in a drink and gave it to me. I drank it because I was stupid and shit. Speaking of shit. Christ, man, you ate MY CRAP! You are disgusting, and then you seemed so disappointed when I told you that I already had had my period. Like you wanted to taste that or something. Man how old are you?”
“Thirty four.” He said, eyes cringing as if in torture.
“Well, you are old, and I’ve only been with six guys.”
“Making you a slut.”
“Fuck you, Gerald, no you are the slut. You must have had sloppy, dirty sex with many girls, haven’t you? You are gross, and then you ate my crap. I wasn’t that fucked up and no I didn’t ask for the drugs, I was given them and accepted them because I’m dumb and young and wanted some cum. I guess I fell asleep after you humiliated me by fucking me by every position, and you thought it was funny when my pussy farted, and I hate that when that happens, but you think that it is funny and made me want to cry. You asked me to orgasm in your mouth. That was gross, but it was kind of fun, too. For some reason. And you had me taste my juices, I loved doing that, but I didn’t love tasting my anal snot. It was just disgusting. Gross. EWE! Take me home! Then again, ok, you are a pretty good kisser, and I love your cock, and I like your eyes, and I like the way you were kind of gentle with me. You are a nice guy, I guess. What am I saying? I don’t like you do I?”
“Seems like you do, we should go back to my place and have some more fun. Maybe take a bath together, wouldn’t that be fun?” Now Gerald was smiling as big as hell. His cock was swelling.”
“No, I don’t, and what are my parents going to think?”
“Well, you’d better call them and tell them where you are; I mean, no, you’re not with me, you’re at a friend’s house.”
“Ok, one of those girls I was with at the party? I don’t….well, ok, I do like you. Now please don’t ever tell anyone about this alright? I want to suck you dick. I’m horny again. You have never seen me when I’m really horny have you? I bet you haven’t.”
“Oh, man, this is going to be fun. We got to take a bath first. It will be nice and relaxing ok?” He said, as he turned the car around and headed back to the apartment. When he arrived at his apartment, he noticed that he had left the door open. Or maybe someone pried it open or some shit, because that is bizarre for him to completely forget to lock the door. Well, that must be what was going on, that he forgot to lock the door, because when he went inside, everything was normal, that is, normalcy pervaded in the manner of what Gerald knew as the usual. Oh well, let’s just get this bitch inside and show her my world, he thought.
“Come on in, baby,” he said as she nervously stood outside, staring up to the sky, as if in, what Gerald took to be prayer, but soon found out that she was noticing that it was starting to rain.
“It is raining.”
“Well, then get in here.”
“Ok, ok.”
“Think I’ll put on some music. Do you like the Velvet Underground?”
“Sure, I guess.”
Gerald walked over to his computer and searched for the desired music out of his extensive collection. The first song was, oddly, ‘herion’.
“You’ve never done a drug like that before?” he asked her with a solemn look on his usually grinning face.
“Nah, why would I.”
“Good answer.”
“So, let’s take a look inside my closet. And first, let me prepare you, it is some hard-core shit. Ok?”
“Sure, I’m ready.”
“For the real shit?”
“Yeah,” she said, hopping up and down like a bunny.
He took her hand and walked over to the closet, opened it, revealing strings of beads to conceal the inside treasure. He took his arm, and slowly opened the draping beads, and then turned on a light. What they both saw was glorious. It was the real shit. In fact it was shit. Shit spanning the arcane ages of the early nineties up till the two thousands. There were categories of shit: hard, semi-solid, wet, diarrhea type 1, diarrhea type 2, diarrhea type 3, medium thickness, thick, short and stumpy, long and loose. And several others. His eyes opened wide as he saw his collection up close and personal.
Lindy, of course was appalled, of course the bitch thought it was disgusting. Fuck it, he thought, we’ll get this bitch to like it.
“That’s…..woah…beyond gross….but..hmm…you know me..I’m up to trying anything, now what do you want me to do? Smell it. Tell me that is it. Smell it right?”
Gerald laughed, “No we gonna bathe in that shit.”
“Great, that sounds fun,” sardonically as hell she said.
“Now pick a few of the bags and we’ll mix them together and swim in ‘em. Ok?”
“Well, let me see. How about this one. This one. And um….this one….Now give them to me I want to break them over your head.”
“You know that I would enjoy that way too much, baby. Let’s get real, we can throw shit all around when we are submerged in it. Now why don’t you go and put some water in the bathtub, but first there is some vodka and orange juice on the table, have some please.”
“Don’t mind if I do, then maybe I’ll be a bit more relaxed to do this shit.”
Gerald took the requested bags of crap and walked over to the microwave where he heated them up, all the while Lindy drank a few shots of vodka and orange juice, with just a touch of GHB.
“Don’t drink too much of that.”
“But I need to be really drunk.”
“Well, ok,” he said with a smile.
She then walked over to the bathtub, humming ‘heroin’, turned on the faucet, and tested the water to see if it was warm enough. “Is this hot enough?” she asked Gerald.
“Hold on, cause that does matter quite a bit in this situation. The shit must be just the right temperature and the water must be just in a range which won’t make the shit evaporate too quickly. But it has to be just so hot that the steam made from the shit will smell with the perfect amount of shitty scent.”
“Ok, here.”
“Just right, me darling!”
“Great, now let me get naked……yeah….yeah!” and within seconds her shirt and bra were off, her little teenie titties bobbing up and down as she jumped like a bunny across the bathroom. Then her pants came off, revealing a nice shaven pussy. One of the pink kind, not like the Asian girls, you know, brown down there. Good ol’ Caucasian pussy.
“Yeah, you look really nice. Watch it now, you are getting um…drunk…”
“Feels like it!” she said, almost falling into the bathtub head first.
Gerald caught her, what a nice guy. Then, he walked over to the microwave and grabbed the bags of shit. He walked over to the tub, turned off the faucet and opened the sealed bags of shit, poured them gently into the tub, and giggled more like a school girl than the one laying on the floor.
“Ok, baby, let’s get in!”
“Yeah let’s do that!” she said, slurring her words.
“Ok, I’ll get in first.” And so Gerald took off his clothes, and dipped his foot into the water, before getting in the tub, then he took Lindy by the arms and lifted her up, placing her on top of his lap.
“Oh, this smells goooood!” she said.
“Damn right, especially when you are on so much…..never mind.”
“I don’t care what I’m on, but I should tell you that when we were driving back, I texted my parents saying where I was going.”
“You what!?”
“Yeah, so they should maybe come here and get me this afternoon.”
“Oh, Christ!” and with that mention of our Heavenly Savior, there was a knock upon the door.
“It is Lindy’s father. Open the fuck up. I want my daughter here. Fuck it, I’m going to open this damn door myself.” And he turned the knob, opened the already unlocked door, revealing his daughter sitting on top of some middle-aged dude, bathing in what appeared to be shit. Shit! “Are you serious?”
“Listen, I can explain,” Gerald said, even though he knew damn well he couldn’t ever explain this fetish, and doing it to someone’s daughter. Oh, man. He was really fucked.
Her father walked over to the bathtub, took a good whiff of the smell of the shit, and threw up in the toilet. “My daughter is all messed up. You are going to jail! You bastard!”
Just then, the other closet opened, and who came out but Officer Spicer. He had one hand on his gun, and the other stroking his nicely endowed naked cock. “He is already under arrest. I’ve got pictures. Oh man do I ever. He’s going to have to do some pretty interesting things to get out of incarceration. You, papa, on the other hand better just get the fuck out of here now! I have pictures of you fucking that old stripper, and I can show it to your wife, very, very easily. And I’ve even got your underwear, disgusting as that might sound, as evidence. Your daughter is coming with me as well.”
“The hell shit is! Fuck you, Spicer!”
That was when Officer Spicer pulled out his gun and directed Lindy’s father out the door where he was greeted by three other “officers of the law.” “You’re coming with me, daddy.”
“This is outrageous.”
Spicer looked out the door and said, “This world is outrageous.”
Lindy’s father was screaming and kicking as he was put into the cop car. All the while Gerald was hosing off and getting dressed.
Spicer walked back inside and went into the bathroom, “Now guys, don’t I get a turn? Why you always let the cops out of the fun?”
“I don’t like pigs, that’s why?”
“But you love shit, you know pigs roll around in their own shit. Maybe you are more of a pig than I am. Hey, dude, that bitch is still out cold, isn’t she? Let me have some access to that pussy.”
“First,” Gerald said, coughing to clear his throat, “Will you suck the shit out of my asshole?”
Spicer twirled the ends of his mustache, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Coprolalia

---by Stan Flannery



Gerald S. loved to bathe in his own shit. Absolutely loved it. Couldn’t wait to get home from working at I.V. Lumber and soak in his own feces. It was the greatest feeling in the world, for Gerald, as he took pride in not only enjoying the feeling, but spreading the word that this element of pleasure should and will be taken into modern fashion by the year 2020, when the world would generally be filled with the crap anyway; why not soak your mortal remains in what the world was to become? Some kind of synesthesia, he presumed. Yet it was more than mere fashion. Gerald S. used to fantasize about the shit coming out of his teacher’s assholes in gradeschool. He could actually see the crap coming out of Ms. Lewinskie’s butt. It was that kind of shit, not too solid, but not too soft, just the right amount of density to create perfect cylindrical globs of dung, which would—in his imagination—dribble down her long Polish legs, collecting at her feet where it would collect dust particles from the chalk board, all the while, she would be going over the lesson plan in routine fashion: writing, asking questions, and sometimes pointing to Gerald, who usually knew the right answer to the questions. These fantasies of shit didn’t always keep him off his toes. But the shit collecting at Ms. Lewinskie’s feet smelled, actually reeked of some form of salmon she’d eaten for early lunch alongside with some ice-cream. Perfect imaginary world for Gerald, and he wasn’t about to let anyone know about his fantasies, although sometimes when he was five he had nice experiences with his sister; a good example being after he came home from school one day

It was around the year 1984, and Gerald had already started first-grade. He came home from school one day, and headed to the toilet because he had to take a major shit. He threw down his heavy bookbag and headed towards the pot. As he opened the door, he found his little sister, Maggie, of the tender age of 4, taking a dump.

“Hey, big brother, whacha doin? Do you want to see what a big turd I’ve just poopied?”

He studied his environment, knowing, in someway, somehow, this was a day of Change; the day of transformation as to what he was to become in life. He looked at his mirror reflecting back a boy of average height, and of average build. He looked at his bathtub. Somehow a perfect place to play, somehow, but he just didn’t know why. He didn’t know why he was attracted to his bathtub in such a way. One of those ways like a dog, he wished to go to the side of it and start to rub his cock against the side of the porcelain. And then he turned his curious eyes towards his sister. She was squatted. He could see the little bun shape of her vulva, and the way it was spread just a bit so that he could see pink—beautiful shade of pink. He loved it, just loved looking at her pussy. Always had, and it isn’t like he didn’t have other opportunities, it was just now, this instant that he was starting to feel very sexual. But it wasn’t really her body that he was interested in primarily; it was what was coming out of it. Shit. Brown shit.

“Yes!” He said enthusiastically. “I want to see your poop!”

“Here you go…..lookie, big this time, huh?”

“Wow!”

“I still got some more, here we go….rrrrr.rr.r….plop!” Yet another log of dung came out of her asshole.

“Ok, I want to smell it.”

“Smells good, huh?” she asked curiously, as if awaiting a judgment.

Gerald S. smelled the crap. He actually had to blow his nose so that he could smell the full spectrum of aromas from the fecal matter. Kind of like a coke head. Just want all of that white shit way up there, no blockage. So he sniffed, and he sniffed, and he smelled some more. Damn, did it smell good.

“Mags, your poopie smells GREAT!”

“Aw, thanks bro. Maybe I can smell your’s now?”

“Well, first,” he said, “I’d just like to um…..don’t tell anyone, not mom, not dad, not Amy, Brian or the busdriver…I’d like to taste it. Just have a few licks. I’ve tasted my own before, but never a girl’s.”

“Well…hmmm…give me somethin.”

“What do you want, to play that game we played last week where I tickle your ‘you know’.”

“Sure, sounds good, but first let me smell your shit.”

Gerald said, “fine, “and quickly grabbed a log of shit, which was turning into a wet blob of corn and gum she’d swallowed. Then he took a big bite of it. It went all over his face. Inside his nostrils; between his teeth, all around his cheeks. “MMMMmmmmm” he moaned. Then he realized like what a pervert he was acting like, although there was no word for that in his vocabulary, it was akin to touching a grown ups thingy.

“Taste good!?” she exclaimed with confidence knowing that of course her crap tasted good, she was a princess after all.

“Oh yeah.”

“My turn.”

“Ok, let me take off my pants and poop.”

“K.”

So Gerald S. took off his short pants and took a crap an adult scatologist would be proud of. “There you go Sis, do you want to taste it.”

“Nah, I just want to lookie. Looks like mine. Yeah, bet Dad don’t shit like that.”

“’Doesn’t’” he corrected her. “I doubt it as well. Now let me take a taste of my own poop.”

“Ok.”

And so Gerald ate some of his own shit and then he said to his sister, “Ok, ready for us to play vachinacology?”

“Yeah! Yeah! I love getter “her” played with,” her of course being her vagina which she named Gabby, just because she thought she could talk out of her cunt.

“Ok, then,” Gerald said, pulling her out of the bathroom and shutting the door, locking it, and then went over to the toilet an took one more bite of his crap. “MMMM…..Wow! Be right there Mags!”

“Are you eating MORE poop?”

“Just a bit, now I got to wash my hands.”

“Forget it. I like it dirty,” learning so quickly at such a young age to be a slut.

“Well, ok then,” and out he came, shit hanging from his lip and his hair. “Let’s perform surgery, now get on the bed and lay down.”

“Yes doc.”

“Now spread your legs.”

“Yes doc.”

“Now let me stick my finger right up here…yeah…like this….you are wet, you know, like the toilet.”

She smiled and patted his head, thinking that was a compliment. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Now tell me if you feel this,” he said, as he moved his fingers around in a counter-clockwise fashion, pressed them in as deep as they would go, then slowly, with the juice produced by the inner “cave” he called it, massaged the outside pieces, quickly flicking the ‘little man sailing in his boat, ‘ with his thumb. She moaned and moaned, until, with a violent shock, it seemed, she convulsed a few times, her eyes going back inside her head so that you could only see the whites, and then relaxed, and sighed, “AAAAAAAAAAhhhh….you are so good at that doctor, so good at that….and we can do this any time of the week.”

“Yes, we can, but I think that dad and mom are coming back from getting groceries.”

She played with his hair and licked his fingers. “Wow, I taste so good. Next time, I want to suck your pee-pee.”

“I wish you would NOW, but we should wait until tomorrow, or how about tonight? That would be fun, just sneak over to my room around um….midnight, and don’t fall asleep, then you can suck my pee-pee, and you can play with my ball sack.”

“Ok, let’s go watch TV.”

“Alright, but first, Sis, I think you are bleeding?”

“Where?”

“Down there,” Gerald said pointing towards her pants. “In the crotch area, maybe you should change your pants and soak that up. I’m sorry, I think I played with Ginna too roughly.”

“Oh, no problem, happens all the time. I lost my virginity on a jungle gym you know?”

Gerald was perplexed, “What is that?”

“You’ll find out…hee..heee..just what mom told me. Said no to tell anyone, that it is a secret only for girls to know.”

“But please, I’m your brother.”

“Ok, there is this part in Gabby, which protects the back part of her, and when she gets broken, or something like that, um..she bleeds. So I’ve bleeded down there before.”

“Oh, ok.”

Then she took off her pants to reveal panties that were soaked with blood. “What should I tell them?”

“Well, first shouldn’t you soak up that blood?”

“It’ll stop by itself. Maybe you’d like to taste it?” she asked nicely offering her vaginal blood to her brother.

“Sure, “ so he tasted it, “MM…good, but not as good as your poop. Not as good as your poop………………………….





Yes it was these experiences that gave Gerald a boost into the underworld of scatology. His childhood had been far from “normal,” although it wasn’t as fucked up as you would think. There are some very, very fucked up families out there, much more so than shit eating Gerald and his sister. But, anyway, Gerald S. got back from I.V. Lumber, threw down his jacket, put his wallet on the nightstand of his one room apartment, turned on the stereo and played some Michael Macdonald. He sat down on his recliner and sat there for fifteen minutes almost falling asleep, and then, “You Keep Forgetin” came out of the stereo, and he almost forgot, it was time to get deep in shit. Not the place he had sunk into at work, as he was soon to get fired for carrying around flyers of horrible coprolalia-influenced material, promoting drinking urine, eating shit, and all of a sexual nature, with obscene pictures and all sorts of visual unnatural acts, alongside descriptions of how to “get the job done,” as Gerald described it, and yes, now he was about to do just that.

So, he got up off his ass and walked over to the closet where there were plastic bag upon bag of different varieties of shit. Even ages, as if it were like wine. The soft variety was catalogued on the left side of the closet, and the right side was filled with solid matter. He had to eat just the right thing to produce solid shit, allot of fiber, since he was on medication that didn’t allow that.

He grabbed, softly now, the bags marked January 1999, the old shit. There were some that were of watery variety, but mostly hard. He deserved it. So he walked over to the microwave and carefully heated each bag just a bit. Then over to the bathtub he went, he turned on the faucet to hot, and drew just a small amount of water. Tonight he was going to be taking an 80% pure shit soak. Then he poured the shit into the tub, took off his clothes, revealing a rather decent looking 33 year old’s body, from liftin’ wood, he supposed. Then he stepped into the tub. It was hot. “Damn! That shit is hot!” He yelled.

So he removed is foot, noticing that it was covered in ancient corn and what appeared to be ground beef, but who knows by now, it was also covered in bacteria. The bags were sealed and a preservative was added, but that never kept the bacteria from slowly seeping in. Damn. But, he scrapped some off of his foot, and, “mmmmmm, that’s good!” He exclaimed.

He waited a while, and decided to go to the computer and watch some porno. He chose to watch an obscure porn star from Hungry, named Jo, or Monica Sweetheart . She was nice looking. Kind of over par, not as much as some of the pre-teen porno he found the other day, on sites with no Trojans at all. After he sprayed his load all over himself, he went to the water, got in laid down, closed his eyes, and day dreamed of a time when he would find another girl like his little sister way back when, who still shared the same desire to play, eat, and suck the shit out of his asshole.

The Following





“What’s new,” she said, walking casually down the sidewalk to greet him. Smiling, of course, but her eyes seemed different.

“Hello there, lady,” he said with valiant esteem, after having told her of the new situation that he’d found himself in. “Um, well….”

“Yeah, well, I think we have some things to talk about.”

He knew that there was something else that she wanted to talk about; it wasn’t the latest gossip at work, nor books or drugs. It was her.

“I know that’s why you called me in the first place, right?” He asked, head down in guilt.

“No, not exactly, let’s walk.”

“Let’s walk where?”

“Somewhere else.”



Gerald had known Gina for a long time. A very long time, in fact he knew her from his freshman year of college. They both decided to major in English, and he met her at the liberal arts building to sign up for and declare a major. They had been really good friends. Not best friends. Good friends.

She liked to party more than he did. Gerald was one of those guys who wasn’t all that brilliant, but liked to read difficult material. In fact, he “got into” the major more than she, who was getting better grades than he, but she didn’t have to work on it, as she read much faster than he did and wrote faster, generally understood things rapidly, that is, aside from morals and ethics, which Gerald had a good grip on, at least he thought—give the dude something to be better at. It was for these reasons that he told himself that he didn’t want to “go out” with her, although she was so hot, but she probably wouldn’t want to go out with him anyway. He would really like to fuck her. But the chance of this happening, with her and all of her boyfriends was an outlandish idea to even mentally conceive. So, he stayed in his apartment and read and read. He had a few girlfriends, and they all were very nice girls, many of them younger, and this seemed to always be the problem, to Gina. Gina hated him dating younger girls, in fact she hated him dating anybody. It was a bizarre situation, their friendship. And it pretty much remained this way, a sexually tense acquaintanceship.

The years passed, and now, they were both thirty. Thirty, wow, he never would have dreamed that he would ever make it to this age, and if he did, he would have accomplished some more things in life, but he had some problems involving drugs and mental illness, which retarded his growth. But he was growing, slowly but surely; however, Gina was not pleased with the “direction” of his growth. He was falling into the same pattern again. Dating another young girl.

They arrived at the coffee shop, sat down, and each ordered a latte of some variety. He liked them plain, she enjoyed them with vanilla. There was a few nervous beginnings of conversations, the “um so…”s and “Yeah well,”s until finally Gerald said, “Ok, why is it that you always have a problem with me dating girls, younger ones at that?”

“Because you are too old. Come on. And you know you know that you are smarter than they are. Is it that? Dominance? T-Rex Gerald.”

“No, I just generally like the young ones. They are not necessarily innocent. I’ve dated a sixteen year old who knew more about sex that I do now.”

She sipped her latte, “Maybe because you only date the young ones.”

“That’s not true. There have been several that were above my age. Over twenty six, I believe at the time.” Gerald was beginning to get defensive, as he stared into the Gina’s green eyes.

“Those were only one night stands, or well three night stands. And that girl who worked at the uni-mart. She was older than you, right? Wow, what an accomplishment there.”

“Give me a break; it was after a crazy break up….”

“Yeah, with a young girl.” She said, “What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing, how bout we look at the guys that you dated?”

“Off limits, I’m not in a crisis situation.” She said, now getting a bit nervous.

Gerald smiled, being soft-hearted, “Ok, we’ll focus on me. You know that they say now at the good ol’ psych clinic that I have narcissistic personality disorder? Cool huh? So yeah, let’s talk about my self-centered ass.”

She put her hand on his, touching his fingertips gently, “I don’t believe in any of that crap. You are fine now, and I lov….”

“What’s that?” He laughed, “What did you say?”

“I meant l really enjoy your company and I care about you. I only say that word to guys that I’m in love with. And I’m not….in…..” Her voice became softer until she became silent, staring at her napkin. “Ok,” she began again, “I just wanted to talk to you about this new girl you are dating, but I don’t know if I should bother. All we do is argue, that is ALL WE DO. Maybe…well, ok, how old is she.”

And right away she was fiercely attacking the sensitive areas of his new relationship. “20, Now please don’t……”

She cut him off and her voice became louder, “That is bullshit! Why are you doing this,that is fucking pedophilia, Mr. Jackson.” he started to laugh softly. She continued, “I’m not kidding. The girl could be your daughter, for Christ sakes. Don’t you have any sense of decency? I bet she doesn’t even bleed every month. I bet she’s got those “perfect breasts,” you always talk about. You know why they are perfect? Because they just grew, you fuck. And they never even know how to kiss…so you show them, huh? So you show them. Fuck you and fuck your life.

“I don’t understand why……”

“You don’t understand ANYTHING, that’s why you had to work so hard in college while I went out and had a good time.”

And while she was so angry, he kept staring into her eyes, noticing things---worlds that he’d never seen before…anywhere. Her dirty blond hair pulled back tight, her skin so fair, so white. If……she…were….only….mine

“No,I mean why do you care so much,” and as he said this, I noticed that we were disturbing the other students and professors studying their papers.

“Why do you think?”

“I don’t know,” he said, but I really wanted to think because she cared about him..romantically.

“Because I care about you,” she said, tears streaming down her overly emotional face.

“Ok then,” he took a chance, here we go…”How about you come over to my apartment tonight. Kelly is gone.”

“That’s her name?” Gina asked, “And to do What?”

“I don’t know, sit down.”

“To do what?”



“I just thought that since we have been friends for so long, and I am going to agree that I’ll not date this girl anymore, then you can stay the night?”

“You want to fuck me?”

He grinned, “Yeah, like that.”

“Isn’t that sweet you asshole,” and she threw the rest of her vanilla latte on his face. “You know, I really thought you were on my side, but your hedonistic ways want to make me puke..fuck you…” and she walked out of the coffee shop with her head held high, never looking back, never caring again. To think it was so crazy what he could have had, a partner for life, but instead, he would bounce from one young romance to the other, all for the sake of trying to understand why the human race is one of jealousy, of greed, of diseased colored death of love. Black against white, innocence versus evil. All of this was coming his way.